Fun and Games with Jenners: Six Word Memoirs

Jenners must know that I need to play a game tonight. My always creatively inspired friend asks that we think of some six word memoirs. Let's see what comes to mind right now.

• Hit her head so many times.
• Wished blog buddies lived next door.
• Chocolate addiction could not be tamed.
• Peaks and valleys in her poetry.
• Instinctively responded to every crying child.
• Did not have all the answers.
• Court jester to princes and princess.
• Dreamed to live the Impressionist's view
  
• Typed, typed, typed, typed, typed, typed

Well, no more procrastination for me. Back to typing I go. I'll try and visit all of you soon :)

Fun and Games With Jenners

Jenners keeps me smiling with all her Fun and Games! She thought it would be fun for us to create fake books/magazines. Jenners even provided us with a link to design our own magazine or book covers. For some reason, I was very technically challenged when I tried to make my own cover. Maybe I was overdosing on my chocolate afternoon snack and couldn't figure out the simple directions. Anyway, Bart was supposed to be my cover model for this magazine idea of mine:

CHILLIN' AND HALF AWAKE
The teen guy's guide for cruising through life

What do you think of these article titles? Something here to stir your son into consciousness?

"Twenty Ways to Make Sports Balls Out of Old Socks"

"Voice Changing Tricks to Sound Less Like Froggy and More Like Derek Jeter"

"Sucking In Your Gut Tips When Impressing the Girls"

"Negotiation Techniques to Get Dad's Car Keys: Use the Choir Boy Smile Approach"

"101 Ways to Avoid Conversation with Mom"

"Chore Delegation: Ways to Bribe Little Brother to Mow the Lawn, Take Out the Garbage, Clean Up the Garage, Find Your Homework"

"More Hair: Less Eye Contact"

"Alarm Clock Is The Enemy: Who's A Morning Guy Anyway?

"Rapping Your Way Through Your College Essay: Who Needs Grammar?"

"How to Look Cool Standing Outside Dunkin' Donuts at Midnight"

"Why Can't I Major in Video Game World Philosophy?"

"Deodorant vs. Toothpaste: When A Choice Must be Made"

"So Exactly What Is Work?"


Visit my friend Jenners to laugh and smile!

Fun and Games with Jenners - Song Titles

Is there a better way to spend a Friday than playing Fun and Games with Jenners? For today's game, Jenners invites us to write a short story using song titles. Please visit Jenners over at Life With A Little One and More to read everyone's entries. This was fun!

"Don't Stop Till You Get Enough"

Let me tell you about the first time he sauntered into my world. I could tell that he was a little nervous as he walked over to my favorite Starbuck's table. I liked the way he tipped his Raspberry Beret with the flair of a Carey Grant. I quickly told my interviewee to sit down and tell me about his work as a Paperback Writer. Would this be the one to write my memoirs and keep me Stayin' Alive forever in words? As I gave him the once over, I said to myself, "I think he'll know how to Start Me Up!" Knowing that I'm Three Times A Lady, I composed myself and gingerly crossed my Hot Legs.

All of a sudden, he became Dazed and Confused, and I thought it was Just My Imagination when he started to do the Conga. Well, once I saw him Shake, Rattle, and Roll, I knew that I found the one who would Light Up My Life. I can still hear his invitation, "Hey, Lady in Red, are you ready to Twist and Shout?" That dancing interview became the first of many One on One moments.

People may call me a Barracuda. I saw what I wanted and went with my Desire. My cardiologist assured me that The Rhythm of My Heart could handle this marriage. As I wait to hear my Jukebox Hero's vows to me, I hope that he doesn't Crash Into Me and knock down my walker.

Do you Mrs. Robinson take...

Fun and Games with Jenners- reinventing a fairy tale

Are you ready for Fun and Games with Jenners? We can always count on Jenners to entertain us with her creative games over at Life With A Little One and More. Here are Jenners' guidelines for this game: In this game, the challenge is to retell a fairy tale or nursery rhyme using modern pop culture references. This can be as loosely defined as you want. Perhaps you want to retell the story of Cinderella using the Kardashian sisters. Or how about Little Red Riding Hood featuring Bella and Jacob from Twilight? The possibilities are endless.

Remember the fairy tale about the three billy goats gruff and the grumpy, hungry troll? Here is my attempt to change this fairy tale storyline with a bit of sarcasm thrown in.

The Three Billy Goat Comedians

Once upon a time in a faraway place desperate for witty one liners, there lived three goat comedians who knew how to make a princess blush or a giant giggle as they jumped around the Fairy Tale Comedy Circuit. On one particularly breezy Saturday afternoon, they were happily heading to Jokey Jester's to try and win a pot of gold in an open mike contest. Unfortunately, there was only one way to get to the comedy club. They would have to face the aggressive advances of Trollaphina, the husband hunting drooling troll who guarded the bridge. Poor Trollaphina didn't have the softest approach when meeting potential suitors. She hoped that her bikini body would excite some interest.


The Seinfeld Goat warily approached the bridge as Trollaphina checked him out.

Trollaphina: Hello there, handsome funny man. Do you want to come across my little bridge?"

Seinfeld Goat: Isn't that what a bridge is for?

Trollaphina: I will let you walk on by if you promise to take me to the comedy club as your date. I won't bite. Well maybe after the show. (She snorts a laugh.)

Seinfeld Goat: I can tell that you have a hunger for a more exotic goat than me. I just make observations all day. Wait for the next comedian goat that is coming this way. He's got a flashy smile and two movie deals.

Trollaphina: Well, I do like the idea of starring in a movie. Okay, go over the bridge.

The next goat comedian, Chris Rock Goat, almost falls over when he sees the gyrating Trollaphina.

Trollaphina: Do you like my fancy dance? Wouldn't I be great in your movie?

Chris Rock Goat: Did your Mama hook up with the Big, Bad Wolf? You're one hairy, freaky lady!

Trollaphina: I like how you flirt with me. Take me to the show and I'll let you over my bridge.

Chris Rock Goat: You know my religion won't let me do that whole inter species dating thing. The next comedian coming up the lane is your guy. I heard that he has some out of this world ideas and would love to improv with you on stage. He likes the wild side.

Trollaphina: Oooh! A wild, funny man. That is just my type. Go along over the bridge.

Robin Williams Goat is too busy having a conversation with himself and three other characters that he doesn't notice Trollaphina when she hooks his arm as he gets close to the bridge.

Trollaphina: Your goat friends told me that you would like a wild, earthy girl like me. Let's run away together after the show and hit the road. Sorry, that a little drool just dripped on your arm.

Robin Williams Goat: Whoa, hold on. I think I would rather take my chances with Cinderella's evil stepmother. She at least knows how to groom herself.

Trollaphina: Don't be so mean. Let me give you a smooch and I'll show you that I'm your type.

Robin Williams Goat: (shrugs his shoulders) Okay. I've done worse things.

Trollaphina grabs Robin Williams Goat and plants a huge, slobbering kiss right on him. It turns out that Robin Williams Goat actually started enjoying the kiss. Poor Trollaphina, not used to receiving any real affection, instantly disintegrated into a pile of ashes. Trolls are definitely unlucky in love.

Robin Williams Goat: (steps over the "pile" of Trollaphina) Hey guys wait up! I've got some great new material. I think I'll add a Troll to my personality improvs.


Hope you all enjoyed my little tale today!

Over the Top Holiday Newsletters - Fun and Games With Jenners

Creative Jenners, over at Life with A Little One and More, is hosting a game called "Over the Top Holiday Newsletters." Some days, this "life" I described in my over the top newsletter may not be too far fetched. This was a fun game to do. Jump over to Jenners' blog to join in.


Dear Family and Friends,

It has been an eventful twelve months here at Kelly's Circus! I know many of you don't necessarily agree with our family's decision to pursue our dreams as circus performers. Maybe you'll consider coming to a performance (held on the third Thursday of every month in our glue gunned Home Depot Instant Circus Tent behind our deck) after reading about my talented crew here at Kelly's Circus.

Ladies and Gentlemen, let me present our illustrious and often whining circus performers:

Curly Top Kelly Suburban New York's Premier Mama Juggler: Watch as Kelly juggles juice boxes, basketballs, paper towels, dirty socks, meatballs, 4,232 school memos and half-naked Barbie dolls all on one foot!!

Sometimes Awake Extraordinaire Hubby Neighbor Tamer: Watch as snoozing (definitely unconscious) husband bellows out various snoring sounds to scare away even the most ferocious and obnoxious neighbor as they approach his rocking recliner. Do they dare go near without earmuffs?

Almost Teen Gadget High Wire Boy: You will be amazed at the concentration exhibited by this young man as he balances on the high wire while texting, Ipoding (circus term) and mumbling. Such powers of concentration on his gadgets. I bet he won't even notice the audience!

The Clown of 1,001 One Liners: The mismatch king will model his unique and eclectic fashion sense as he entertains the audience with one sarcastic remark after another. Trained for years by Curly Top Mama, our clown will do his characteristic "Captain Kirk" eyebrow raise as he zings you with a clever quip. This week's line: "I'll show you outrageous!" Dictionaries to explain his witticisms will be available at our lemonade stand after the show.

Huggy Boy and Sweetie Pie's Stuffed Animal Parade: Watch how this four foot and under duo arrange 3,419 stuffed animals into the longest, longest, longest parade as they await your ooh's and ahh's after each animal's entrance. No snoozing allowed during the parade (except snoring Hubby) because our little performers may get a little miffed if they're ignored. Curly Top Kelly will suggest the "acceptable" compliment for each animal's debut. We don't want unhappy little circus performers. They may tear down the tent :)

So that's how I spend my third Thursdays. The rest of the week is mostly spent finding all of those stuffed animals :) I'm enclosing some complimentary tickets (designed by Jillian in beautiful finger smudged water color) in case you would like to see all our "talent" in person!

Love,

Kelly and the circus troupe (is that how you spell "troupe"?)

Fun and Games with Jenners

Jenners loves a good game that sparks our creativity. You can always count on Jenners to add some fun to your day!

Over at Life with a Little One and More, she challenges: "Write a short story based on a moment in your life that imagines what would have happened if you had made a different choice at that moment."

I couldn't come up with any big life changing moment for this story. I wish my life had a little more drama to share :) Digging in my archives, I decided to share my "what if" scenario about how different my driving life with my husband would be if I never accidentally took off my rear view mirror with the side of my house. When it comes to my driving mishaps, my husband has a memory like an elephant. Everything else seems to escape his mind. For example, he may look stumped if you ask for my conversation topic from three minutes ago :) If I hear him chuckle one more time about the unfortunate demise of my rear view mirror, I think I'll take the first boat to Aruba.

Let's pretend that I park perfectly every time. I swing into spots with expertise and confidence. The garage is no longer my nemesis. I can get my minivan past all the bikes, tricycles, basketball hoops, miniature cars and hula hoops without any scratches or dents. My kids will praise my superior parking abilities when friends brag about their dads. All of a sudden, I will be Super Mom, Queen of all Parking. Bring on the tightest spot and I will parallel park with finesse. No more searching for a HUGE space where no one is looking. My bumper sticker would read, "I park, therefore I am."

Here's my fantasy conversation with my enlightened husband who appreciates his wife's natural parking prowess:

Lumbering slowly up my mother's extremely narrow street in the Bronx. Picture 4 complaining and potentially bickering children. Husband points out a parking spot in the distance.

Husband: There's one. Go for it. You could do it blindfolded.

Wife zooms into space in seconds. Wife: That was easy.

Husband: Wow. I'm lucky to have such a gifted wife who maneuvers this big, clunky van so gracefully. You know I think I'll let you drive all the time. You park better than me anyway. (If he read this last sentence, I think he would choke on his ravioli :)

Well, there you go. Pure fantasy. I would truly fall over if my husband ever said anything like that to me. I think I would assume that aliens took over his body! Parking may not be my thing, but I'm a pretty good mama acrobat when it comes to looking for a dropped toy or passing out snacks to the rambunctious passengers in the back.

Jump over to Jenners' fantastic blog to join in the fun!

Fun and Games with Jenners

It's Fun and Games time with the always creative Jenners over at Life With A Little One and More. For this game, Jenners asked us to stretch our imaginations to make our own version of this memorable William Carlos Williams' poem:

"This Is Just To Say"

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving for

breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

Here is my version of a poem about this potentially devastating event in my household:

I have misplaced
the remote
that sits by
your recliner

and which
you will probably
consider divorce
from your Lucy Ricardo

Forgive me
the magic clicker
will resurface
and harmony return

I think I should chain the remote to hubby's chair. If it disappears before he gets home, the kids and I drop everything and search everywhere (like the guys on CSI). Hubby and his remote are happy amigos. Hubby without remote is not the most pleasant fellow :)

Jump over to Jenners' fabulous blog to join in this "poetic" fun!

Fun and Games with Jenners Wacky Word Problems

Fun loving Jenners, over at Life With a Little One and More, knows how to come up with some original games for all of us to play. Today's "Fun and Games with Jenners" is all about wacky word problems. Jenners asks that we create "word problems that are as ridiculous, detailed, impossible, stupid, and dramatic as possible, in other words, the math does not matter."

I'm happy that this is all about writing and not about math. Numbers and I don't tend to get along. If you want to join in the fun, click on the image above and add your own wacky word problem. Here are two that I came up with while all the wee and not so wee ones were sleeping this morning at 7:30 a.m. Do you have your pencils ready?

Paris Hilton has 82 stilettos in her 4,294 foot closet. She also sent 65,329 text messages to her publicist in June. If she wears only red stilettos to movie premieres, how many times does Paris look at the camera and say, "That's Hot"?

32 tired, cranky 3 year olds enter a McDonald's in Syracuse. 10 whine that they want McNuggets, 3 demand cheese burgers with 2 1/2 pickles, 7 want to know why they can't get a Whopper, 5 need to go potty and 7 dropped their fries on the floor. How many 3 year olds put ketchup in their pockets?

Hop over to Jenners' blog to see her funny word problems!

Fun and Games with Jenners: Lit Riffs

The amazingly talented and hilarious Jenners, over at Life With A Little One and More, is hosting a terrific game called Lit Riffs. What a creative way for all of us to have some fun!

Here are Jenners' directions for this version of "Fun and Games with Jenners":

Choose a song. Write a short story inspired by the song or explaining more about the story told in the song.

I chose the song, "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Rolling Stones. This is one of my favorite Stones' songs so I thought I would take a shot and see if I could come up with something original. According to my song research, I found out that this song may be referring to drugs. Big surprise, I know! Well, since I try to run a family-friendly blog, I'm going to go my own quirky route with this song interpretation.

In case, someone out there needs a Stones' refresher on how this song goes (wonder what Mick Jagger would recommend for a refresher) :

"Jumpin' Jack Flash"

I was born in a cross-fire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain,
But its all right now, in fact, its a gas!
But its all right. Im jumpin jack flash,
Its a gas! gas! gas!

I was raised by a toothless, bearded hag,
I was schooled with a strap right across my back,
But its all right now, in fact, its a gas!
But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash,
Its a gas! gas! gas!

I was drowned, I was washed up and left for dead.
I fell down to my feet and I saw they bled.
I frowned at the crumbs of a crust of bread.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I was crowned with a spike right thru my head.
But its all right now, in fact, its a gas!
But its all right, Im jumpin jack flash,
Its a gas! gas! gas!

Jumping jack flash, its a gas
Jumping jack flash, its a gas
Jumping jack flash, its a gas
Jumping jack flash, its a gas
Jumping jack flash

I know, reminds you of Shakespeare :)

Here is my short, short story inspired by these lyrics.

JUMPIN' JACK, CHEMISTRY DUDE

There goes that head of black Gabe Kotter curls bobbing up and down the high school hallway. Lanky and quiet, Jack meanders through our school like a visitor from a world far away. As his guidance counselor, I meet with him once a week to go over any school or family issues. Mumbling his answers, Jack isn't thrilled with what he calls my "weekly interrogation". A bright kid with moments of brilliance, the principal and I want to keep him on the right track and not see him trapped in a life dictated by his belligerent mother. Reminiscent of one of those Macbeth hags around the fire, his mother's stare almost sent 50 year old me running home to Mommy. It has become my personal crusade to save this unlikely hero from a life of verbal and maybe, physical abuse. We're hoping that Jack's passion for chemistry will be his ticket out.

Beaten down by years of his mother's tirades, Jack doesn't seem to think he has a voice of his own. Six feet tall with barely audible responses to teachers or kids, Jack lumbers along through his school day, not acknowledging anyone. Today's science fair turned out to be Jack's debut. When it was his turn to present, Jack began his experiment with care and concentration. All of a sudden, a flash sparked and ignited Jack's sleeve. Jumping all over the place, Jack put out the flame quickly. Glad that he was all right, our quick-witted science teacher patted Jack on the back and said, "Here is our very own Jumpin' Jack Flash." With a smirk, Jack shrugs with the comment, "That was some cool gas." I think Jack will be all right. The Chemistry Club could use a tall guy as their bodyguard.


I had to get the word "gas" in here somewhere. Not too sure if it is any good, but at least I had some fun. And that's the point, right? You should read Jenners' short story! It is amazing! Run over to Jenners' blog and join in the fun.