So what is going on with me?

With SpongeBob playing in the background and the boys maneuvering all around, I think I'll try to get a post officially "in the tank" here. The day to day of life really has pushed my love of blogging on the back burner. I would love to carve out regular time again to blog and connect with all of you. Maybe it will have to be during this five minutes of relative peace on a Saturday morning. I'll see if I can make it my regular blogging "thing" again.

Unemployment once again has parked its unwelcome cloud over our family for the past six months. My husband and I are in job hunting mode 24/7. Highly competitive job market and so many others hunting for the same position. It can be a daily challenge emotionally when calls don't come, but we remain hopeful that all will work out. I may have to be the one to jump on the full time bandwagon if nothing significant materializes for my husband. Having been 16 years plus out of the job market, I may not be your typical candidate for certain positions. I laugh that I'm now in the "mature" category of applicants. Whatever that means.

The kids are all doing well. They are truly growing right in front on my eyes.  My oldest son and I will be embarking on a college visit trip to Boston soon. Now that "bonding" should make for some interesting and maybe laughable blog material.  My two other sons are way too enveloped by video games. This long, cold winter has to end so I can get them to play outside again.  My lovely Jillian is enjoying every minute of second grade and she loves ballet. It is such a sweet time for me each time that I watch her move so slowly and gracefully through each move during practice. She has good concentration and a true passion to enjoy the dance. I see many recitals in my future.

The love of our life, Lily, is enjoying her retirement on every couch that she can find in our house. We can't believe that it has already been more than a year since we adopted her from the rescue group. I have all sorts of Lily walking adventures to share with you in future posts. She is a very strong girl who sometimes gets carried away when a car comes by. My problem is that she doesn't know her own strength as she almost off knocks me off my feet.  Look at her now so quietly sleeping on the couch. Our truly strong yet gentle giant.

Peace and joy to you all.  Now time to make some kind of breakfast for me. After feeding the rest of the crowd, I look forward to these few minutes of munching on my English muffin.

So was it a Thoreau moment? I would like to think that I'm taking a five minute one sometimes.

There is no doubt that my determined labrador is fascinated with all that autumn offers here in New York. She pulled me through places in the wooded section of my backyard that were usually in my off limits zone. Gratefully, both Lily and I emerged from our ramblings unscathed and slightly winded. Considering that I have lived here for almost 14 years, I must give my Miss Lily credit for bringing me to a lovely location for reflection and pause.  This is definitely the time of year to stand still for a moment and gaze upward at all those varied colors of autumn as they sway with the breeze on those Heaven reaching limbs.

Now it is time for me to stretch these kind of achy limbs and get my little ballerina ready for dance class.

Until next time...take care.

"Kelly, sit still once in while!"

This Energizer Bunny is hunting for moments of stillness.  This may be a hopeless dream considering that my gang will be bursting with energy and literally bouncing off the walls as school ends next week. Nonetheless, I think this quest is worthy of an attempt to find that kind of peace.

A few weeks ago, I walked along a very peaceful, tree-lined trail surrounded by a quiet that I welcomed wholeheartedly. To be honest, it was strange for me to be without a walking or conversation buddy. Even when I'm physically alone at home, I'm engaging myself in some kind of online activity or work. During that walk, I just breathed through each step. My mind was still whirring around with lists and obligations during the first leg of the walk.  All of a sudden as I felt the push of the walk make me strive to go further and further, I recognized the stillness around. I must have pushed myself through exercise and place into an opening of my wall that I spend so much time building around my core. That part of me needs to breathe more. The stillness may be the key. I realize that I have to take out these Energizer Bunny batteries once in a while. Everyone always tells me to relax.  Has it taken 44 years for me to share that light bulb of realization? So the new weekly plan (hopefully) is to go for those stillness hunting walks and breathe more thoughtfully.

I also stare up into the midnight sky when I walk Lily in the backyard each night. Those five minutes of stillness feel especially good with a cool night breeze. I'm also hoping that these self-directed times of quiet will rejuvenate that dusty Muse of mine.

Dad's handwriting

I found my Dad's high school notebook today. I forgot that I tucked it away behind my door with all my other bags of stuff.  Today was the day that I decided to go through all that stuff to consolidate and organize. How nice it was for me to see my Dad's beautiful handwriting flowing across the pages of a marble notebook from the 1950's.

I see so much of Dad in me. Students and searchers. In his notebook, he wrote out favorite poems and sayings that touched him in some way.  Seeing my father having a natural fondness for Keats, Milton, and Kipling made me feel an even stronger connection with him.

For the past 12 years since his death, I will sometimes find myself trying to relive a moment of Dad's embrace as I sit alone at home, in church, or in my van.  Today, I felt his embrace fully and my heart feels more directed and complete, at least for now. Thanks Dad.

It's good to slow down and grab the bliss moments

Sometimes I wish too much for a relaxing Saturday.  More often than not, those Saturdays turn into craziness.  Today, I am sitting here listening to my  hamburgers frying, and noticing the contentment on the faces of my family.  No big drama is happening, but we all are quietly entertaining ourselves.  Bliss can be found in these sudden observations by a "going going" mom.  Maybe they are all taking lessons from Lily, our happily and consistently snoozing furry companion.

More poetry quickfires to come and more blog checking in too. Hope all is blissfully wonderful in your corner of the world today.

Poetry Quickfire & Miss Lily

Shaking off the rust as I try my hand at throwing some words together in five minutes...

I like to see what erupts as I push through each line quickly.

Mirror

A phantom of a tremble
could betray that hesitation
to accept and dare
her eyes to celebrate
that "off" image pushing
through the pane
with a fire of being.

As you can see, Lily is enjoying her recuperation time on the couch.  Only a few weeks left of this recovery period and then Lily will be literally off and running!

Hoping to visit you tonight between bites of my huge chocolate chip cookie!!

Finding that "voice" again

I want this to officially become my creative space. It has been a long time since I ventured out on a limb creatively here.  Life is good and busy, and I have been having a wonderful time with family and friends.  I don't want my writing to be shelved anymore. I'm hoping that I still have something deep in the vault to offer creatively.  Something is stirring inside and I am afraid to let too much time pass before I try to write again. I may have to carve out some time during the midnight hour to fully explore my creativity again.  During the day, I am happily occupied with the kids and everything else. I have toyed with the idea of moving away from the blog, but I can tell that I'm not ready for that definitive move. It's time for my poetry quickfires again and micro fiction pieces.  When I would devote that time for creativity, I felt more intact and stronger in a way.  So I'm coming back to see what pours out of me. Hopefully, it will have some value.

Update on Lily: She is recovering wonderfully. What a blessing for my whole family. She will be hopefully heart worm free around March 20th.  Then she can be the "full dog" that she would love to be again.  We'll get in a lot of exercise walks. That will be good for my aching bones too!

Update on Lily

It has been one week since Lily received her first injection.  I have been monitoring her very closely for complications.  Gratefully, she is a good girl who likes to sleep.  Overall, she is very strong and gets through the day well.  I have to take her out for only 3 minutes in front of the house to relieve herself.  I know that she wants to go for a longer walk, but she can't have her heart rate go up.  She doesn't know that she has a time bomb inside if she gets too excited. 

She and I are spending quality and quantity time together.  I am taking many more deep breaths these days. Lily is a gift to me.  I'll keep you all posted on her progress.  She goes for her next shots on February 5th and 6th. She should be "in the clear" mid March.

Hope you are all well.  I hope to visit you soon. Thanks for your good wishes!

Now I have a dog story

It all began in late August.  My son, Joe, came home from visiting a friend's house, and he couldn't wait to share with me some sudden revelation that made his face shine with happiness.  "Mom! Mom!  I know what I want! It will make me happy!  A dog!"

Well, to say that I was surprised is definitely an understatement.  Joe has been afraid of dogs for as long as I can remember.  Actually, three out of four of my kids have been afraid of dogs for a long time.  Here is the back story about that fear.  Almost 10 years ago, pregnant me (with Joe in the "belly" as Jillian would say) would waddle down the street to pick up my oldest son from the kindergarten bus which stopped at the top of our street.  At that time, James was around 3 and jumping up and down next to me as we hustled to get to the bus stop each day.  One day, we met "Happy" - don't let his name fool you - this dog was nowhere near the happy state of mind.  Happy was a good size mutt who would have probably been just my type of dog if he didn't want to possibly wrestle me to the ground.  So during our first meeting (gratefully from a distance), we realize that this dog is owner free and leash free.  He starts barking aggressively at us but doesn't get too close.  Over the period of a week, he gets closer and closer.  I attempted to speak with the owner but he never seemed to be home.  I left a handwritten note in his mailbox asking for him to keep his dog inside.  Maybe it was my plea as a pregnant lady that pushed him to finally keep Happy indoors.  Needless to say, James' fear of dogs cemented in his consciousness during that time.

When Joe came on the scene, we would see Happy from a distance and he wasn't acting all that happy.  Well, Joe probably feeding off James' fear became afraid of dogs in those early carriage days.  Jillian was afraid because she usually only feels comfortable around stuffed animals or zoo animals.  My oldest John was worried about dog hair all over his stuff.  My husband was concerned about the cost and limiting our mobility.

I love dogs, but I wasn't prepared for Joe's proclamation of his sudden desire to own one.   My husband always said that he has four children and why would he want to add a furry one to the mix.  Now the mama in me had a dilemma.  How do I either convince Joe that a dog is not the answer to his need for something to make him happy or how do I convince James and Jillian that a dog will not freak them out every day in the house?

We tried bribery on Joe.  We would say something like, "Joe, what about a swimming pool? (we can't afford one by the way) or "What about a trip?"  He would say, "The dog can count for 10 birthdays and 10 Christmas presents."

Now when we would try to convince James that I would find the most peaceful, mellow dog out there, he would say, "Mom, if you get a dog, I will never ever be comfortable in my own house.  You know that dogs make me nervous.  What about my feelings?"

Joe has always been my sad sack kid.  I have prayed so much to know what would make him happy.  Well, God answered my prayers in a way different than I expected.  I knew in my heart that having a dog could be a turning point for him.

Well, after much negotiation, begging and tears, I finally managed to get the whole family "pro-dog."  An exhausting workout for me.  I searched countless dog adoption sites and rescues.

We finally found Lily.  She is a 4/5 year old black labrador mix.  She has had some tough times.  Amazingly, every one of the kids fell in love with her.  I can't believe how much James has bonded with her in only 4 short weeks.  She is my shadow and buddy during the day. Jillian feels that she finally has a big sister.

I know that this post is going on way too long.  I just wanted you all to know what has been consuming my time these past months.

On Saturday, we received the distressing news that Lily is heartworm positive.  Well, here I go with the tears again all weekend.  More worry kicking in.  Gratefully, she is in good physical health and the disease is in its earliest stages.  The treatment and recovery period is tough. She has to receive her first painful injection on Tuesday morning.  For 6 weeks after, I have to closely monitor her for complications and make sure that she doesn't have any exercise or excitement.  There could be a threat of stroke or pulmonary embellism.

Overall, I am very optimistic after speaking with my vet.  She feels that Lily will get through it all right.

We love her and we'll be here for her.  The whole gang.  We are closer as a family since getting Lily.  I sweep up a bunch of dog hair now and love when she looks for her belly rubs.  She needed a home, and apparently we needed a dog.

I'll keep you all posted on her progress, and you'll see me more in this wonderful blogging world because I need to stay still a bit too during her recovery period.  I have to slow down once in a while. Miss you guys!

P.S. Joe is the one with the big smile!

Jesus said, "The greatest commandment is to love..."

I tell my CCD class that love is deep within each of us.  Think of the power of all that love.  One of my students said that she likes to think of the Earth's core being made of love.  I pray that humanity's collective love will fuel positive and life affirming energy that will turn into definitive actions to ensure no one's love and life is extinguished in such tragic and violent ways.

So how do you build a log cabin anyway? Can a girl from the Bronx find quiet somewhere besides the bathroom?

I think that I may have to become Kelly Thoreau and find a cabin in the woods for peaceful, undisturbed and healing blogging time.  Has it really been this long since I blogged?  It has been a busy time for me with planning for Fright Night at the intermediate school (a big success gratefully), juggling the kids' activities and my volunteer work, and weathering through a week long power outage.  All in all, we feel blessed to be safe, healthy and happy here in our home together.  I pray for all those who have lost so much due to the storm.

I can't wait to visit all of you soon.  My battle with laryngitis is almost over and a vlog will soon be showing up here.  Now that the voice is returning, my kids are "thrilled" that I don't have to make all those crazy hand gestures and facial expressions to get my point across to them. How much the teenagers loved to act like they didn't understand my mime attempts at communication.  When a battle would brew among the boys, you can be sure that an almost accurately thrown laundry sock ball was thrown into the mix to get their attention.  Needless to say, they laughed at my "lame" (their description) attempt at pitching!

I was supposed to volunteer less this year...

Guess who is coordinating a Halloween event at the intermediate school?  I need to recruit 100 + volunteers.  25 days and counting.  I just started planning 2 weeks ago.  I will look like the Bride of Frankenstein when this is all over.  Call me my town's version of the Celebrity Apprentice, without the big prize money!  I'll post another vlog soon to let you know how I'm doing.

A Vlog Hello

Vlog is posted; off to eat pizza!

A Top Ten sounds good!

With the happy butterflies in my stomach as I type this post, you would think that I just got asked to the prom.  I'm so excited to be here again!  The sun is shining through the trees as I type.  Those mini brownie bites are happily in my tummy, and I'm enjoying the peace and tranquility before the kids come barging through the door.  I can't believe how fast these past two months flew by.  It was a wonderful summer vacation full of laughs between the inevitable kid dramatic moments.  All in all, I feel rejuvenated and pumped for my re-entry into one of my favorite sanity-saving activities, blogging.

So where do I start? I'm busting with ideas and sarcasm.  See? Nothing has changed :)

What about a Top Ten list?  It works for Dave Letterman all these years. I'm sure he won't mind if this crazy suburban housewife borrows the idea for my return blog post.  So here goes:

TOP TEN THINGS SAID IN CRAMPED HONDA DURING 40 HOURS
OF DRIVING TO AND FROM FLORIDA

1. The DVD is not working. (I had to do some yoga moves to fix that problem over and over again.)
   
2. Can I pee in a water bottle? (traveling with boys)
   
3. These southern states are LONG! (We were at our breaking point often in the Carolinas.)
   
4. Mom, please not another car game! (I needed to keep the kids from driving daddy the driver crazy.)
   
5. Why are my cookies at the bottom of that bag? (Guess who said that?  Me, of course.)
   
6. Now I know what a sardine in a can feels like. (If I had two inches of leg room at times, I was lucky.)
   
7. Are you kidding me that we have THAT many miles until a rest stop? (leg and butt cramps: no fun)
   
8. Please Jillian don't put in another Barbie movie. (The boys started to know the songs by heart.)
   
9. Why didn't we fly? (My answer: money; Jillian's answer: too scary)
   
10. We can't wait to see the Disney World sign! (We fell out of the Honda and practically kissed that Disney parking lot!)

 I'll post some pictures of the trip soon!

Moving and Grooving Vacation Mode

I'm in a Go Go's kind of mood because we are going on vacation in a few days.  Sunny Florida here we come! This is our first vacation in over 5 years and we are very excited.  Driving to Florida with my gang will give me plenty of blog material.  10 hours a day for two days.  It should be interesting.  I'll take pictures and try to post some.  Miss you my blogging friends!  See you when I get back in early August!

Quickie

Hi everyone, 

With my teen son's help, I'm going to work on that vlog.  I'm excited to come and visit you all later on today.  We are going to my friend's pool today (hooray!) so I better find all that sun block.  I'm as white as Casper the ghost and I'll turn as red as a lobster if I don't slather a ton on. 

Enjoy your day and vlog soon, soon, soon!!

Bonjour mes amies!

I spoke too soon about the busy season ending for me.   The kids' last day of school is June 22nd and all those end of year activities and celebrations are taking up a bit of my time this week.  My oldest two are juggling exams and they seem to be home all the time lately.  I hear this question way too much: "Mom, is there any food in the house?  I'm starving."  My answer:  "Those legs of yours can get you to the pantry or the fridge.  Give it a shot."

I'm thinking of doing a vlog this weekend.  It feels like I need to have that video chat with you once again.  Now we are off to a soccer end of season party.  My 9 year old's team took home the first place trophy.  It seems like a good reason to celebrate with a HUGE sandwich!

See you soon and maybe you'll see me in an impromptu vlog over the weekend.  I have a wedding on Sunday so maybe I'll squeeze it in on Saturday.  You don't want to see what shape I'll be in after a late night wedding.  No night owl here.  Well, not an attractive one anyway. lol

A Troop Leader who thinks she is on SNL

We'll see how my little improv goes over today with the Daisy troop.  I want to hammer home a few points about the Girl Scout Law in an entertaining way.  I hope it gets a few giggles.  Hey, how can I go wrong? I'm bringing props.  Now if only I could do an impersonation of Spongebob...

Hoping to visit you all soon.  My Tampa nieces are coming up for a sleepover visit on Friday and Saturday so things are busy here.  School ends for my  kids on June 22nd. We have a bunch of end of year activities happening the next two weeks.  Happy times.

Help! I need somebody! Help not just anybody!

Now that we are all bonding as we sing that Beatles favorite together, I humbly request your help.  I screwed up my layout here.  I tried out the Dynamic view, but I want COLOR back on my blog.  What did I do?  Does anyone know how I can get back to our usual template designer on the dashboard?  I'm perplexed.  Now that's the first time I have used that word in recent memory.  Good vocabulary word to add to my 9 year old's list.  Thanks for any help or guidance.  I clearly need it.  A colorless blog is not my style at all!

See me jumping up and down waving to you?!! I'm back!

Well, that was an eye opener.  Have I been gone that long?  I see that Blogger has changed things up around here.  I'll need to be semi-awake to make sure that I publish this post correctly.  Grab a few Hershey kisses and I'm sure that I will get right back in the saddle.

Random posts always serve me well when I need something to share on the spot.  A few random observations from the past few weeks should do it.  Let's see what comes to mind:

• If I hear one more of these kind of comments on TV or print, I think I'll scream: "Doesn't she look good for her age?  Can you believe that her body looks that good for a 40 something year old ?"  Does the media really want us to believe that the remaining 98 % of 40 somethings are heading downhill fast?
  
• Love that smile on my little daughter as she loves her new Barbie bike.  It's wonderful to see the joy she feels as she wobbles down the street on her training wheels.
  
•  My pots and pans drawer in my kitchen doesn't want to stay organized. Avalanche waiting to happen.
  
• I'm rocking an ankle bracelet this week.  Why not?
  
• You don't want to ask about how many volunteer weekly hours I put in during this school year. We're talking double digits.
  
• My boys are talking hockey 24/7 these days.
  
• Humidity plus my Shirley Temple hairdo equal three more inches to my height due to frizz factor.
  
• Guess who got a Kindle?  My son laughs because I download the free classics.
  
• There is something about Pinterest that draws me in each day.  Have you tried it?
  
• So what have you all been up to these past weeks?  I'm knocking on your door soon :)