What the Kids Are Saying and What I'm Thinking

Call me "Kelly Does Jury Duty." Save those jokes for later.

Anyway, here are some gems from my kids this week:

"Mom, get lost so Dad will order something for dinner." I took a wrong turn coming home from the courthouse. I managed to get lost for an hour and a half. Don't go hiking with me.

"Mom, I couldn't hang out with strangers all day." It is interesting to be in a very quiet, small room with 15 strangers. It's a very rare occasion to find that many New Yorkers silent for 10 minutes. I'm thinking about sharing a knock knock joke or something. It's way too quiet for me.

"Mom, reading is not my thing." Is that my kid?

Off to tackle the laundry mountain. I think I should sculpt it into something interesting. Anyway, I PROMISE to visit you all soon. I miss you guys :)

What the Kids Are Saying

I don't want to look in the mirror right now. My kids' cold has decided to visit me for a day or two. I'm sure that I look like a mess. Probably not the best time for that promised vlog. Gratefully, I have some good one liners from my kids to share with you.

The kids are on a roll this week:

• "Mommy, if I grow up to be a giant, I won't fit in my pink car!" (I'm always telling Jillian to drink her milk so she can be a giant and pat Mama on the head. She also thinks that she can buy a Barbie pink car "for real" when she's big like me.)
  
  
• "Mom, please don't try a new recipe tonight." (You think I was offering him some freaky Fear Factor dare meal. Ooh, I'm so dangerous when I play around with potatoes!!)
  
  
• "Mom, why do teachers want you to think so much?" (My poor 5th grader. He is allergic to thinking.)
  
  
• "Mom likes her kisses." (They are talking about Hershey kisses. I have a stash in the cupboard.)
  
  
• "Mom, didn't you see that hair sticking up? Were you listening to me when I asked you? I won't ask you again. (that would be nice) " (My soon to be 14 year old and his morning hair assessment. It's always fun to have a side teen attitude with my English muffin.)
  

Hope to visit you all soon. I need to help my 5th grader with his book project tonight. He is the king of procrastination. I'll probably need a bag of Hershey kisses to get through our brainstorming session together.

Off to get more tissues. I'll make sure to hide from that bathroom mirror!

What the Kids Are Saying During This First Week of School

Is it Friday yet? It feels like the longest week.

• "How many days until summer vacation?" They are thrilled to hear my answer: 176 days.
  
  
• "Mom, the teacher gave me another list for supplies." I'm hunting all around town for the oddest supply requests. I find myself sitting in bed thinking about potential school supply sites. You would think that I'm looking for my "dealer" considering how much this quest is taking up my waking hours.
  
  
• "Did you give me a turkey sandwich again?" I ask, "What else would you like?" My son's response is "I don't know." I ask, "Do you want to buy lunch?" "No, I don't like anything." My response, "Here is the turkey sandwich. Eat it quick and enjoy it." I'm saying this 10 minutes before running to the bus stop. When he gets home I ask, "Did you like your turkey sandwich?" He replies, "It was fine." The next day, the whole lunch discussion kicks in again. Am I in that old movie where Bill Murray lives the same moments over and over again?
  
  
• "Mom, I don't want to wake up. I can get ready in 10 minutes." My response, "Sorry Mr. 8th grader but you need 30 minutes to become somewhat human."
  
  
• "Mom, can you believe that they gave me a whole chapter to read for social studies?" In my mind, I'm thinking, "I promise that your eyes won't fall out from reading more than one paragraph. I pray that you retain most of it before you start watching the sports news."
  
  
• "Mom, the girls are so "yap yap" in my class." My second grade son makes this astute observation. I'm sure that my husband is thinking to himself, "Get used to it."
  
  
• "Mom, can I schedule my own homework time?" With this particular son, I would be in trouble if I let him do his own time management. He is the king procrastinator. I should stand next to him with a whistle and say, "Give me 20 sentences." Too bad that I don't have that intimidating stare of some celebrity trainers.
  
  
• Guess who said this one: "Mommy, the brothers are gone! Does the bus have to bring them back?"

Here's one back to school thought that circled in my mind this week. "Beware of PTA mom politics." It's starting already at the bus stop. If only I could hide in the van with my book...

What the Kids Are Saying

Time for another installment of "What the Kids Are Saying."

"Justice will be mine." - said by my almost 5 year old daughter after completing a match on the Wii.

"Mommy, I found kissing games." - said by my daughter when she decided to surf on her online dress up game site.

"I need my pillow freshened up." - said by my prince of a 10 year old son who isn't feeling that well this week. I think he said it every 10 minutes :)

"Mom, what are those veins on your legs?" - said by my way too observant 7 year old at the pool.

"Mom, you just don't get it." - said by my 13 year old son. My response, "I don't get YOU most of the time :)"

"Mommy, I don't know who you are when you take off your glasses." - Jillian freaks out when I take my glasses off. Looks like no contacts for me for awhile.

"Mom, can we drive to the Caribbean?" - said by my 7 year old when we were watching the Travel Channel.

"Mom, I have a smaller head." - said by my 10 year old who is comparing cranium sizes with his brother.

"Mom, I hope you drive better in real life." - said by my smug 13 year old son as he watched me crash over and over again in a Wii racing game.

And my best one for the week said by Miss Jillian: "Mom, Big Baby (her favorite overpowering baby doll) told me to have you make meatloaf tonight. If you don't, she may freak out." Well, guess who's making meatloaf tonight? I just wish that Jillian would eat it!

A Three Year Old's Question

I like to use postcards with pictures of favorite paintings as my bookmarks. Yesterday, this postcard fell out of my book. My little daughter said, "Mommy, did you wear beautiful dresses when you were a teenager?" Imagine wearing that sumptuous gown walking down the halls of a Catholic high school :) Glad that one of my Ingres nude painting postcards didn't come to my daughter's attention. Who knows what she would ask? Happy Friday!