There's a chilliness to the air around my home today, even though the warm breezes follow me as I walk my yard. My block politics are worsening now that those trouble hungry boys like to spread lies about my son. In order to protect themselves from any culpability as the true bullies on the block, they are telling their parents that my son is physically threatening them. I wonder if I made this situation worse when I delayed getting the other parents involved initially. I was trying to honor my son's wishes because he didn't want to be labeled a "mama's boy". Now these clueless parents want or maybe need to believe that my son is the source of all the trouble. I can't believe that we are in this situation. It's so tense when I run into these moms at the bus stop. I tend to get along with everyone so I'm very uncomfortable being around them.
We have such a lovely house, but I wish we could easily move to a nicer block. I pray that things get better during the summer break.
Hope you guys don't mind hearing me go on and on about this. When I'm alone here on the laptop, all this frustration and emotion hits me hard, and I feel a strong need to talk. Thanks.
26 comments:
I'm sorry that this is still going on, it's such a difficult situation. Hopefully it'll quiet down over the summer, and sometimes kids change over those summer months, move on to other things, grow up a little bit. Maybe it'll work in you and your son's favor, having that time off from school. Wishing you a good week ...
Vent away hun! I am sorry that you are having to deal with such a situation. I am sure it is very tough for you and your son. I hope and pray that things will get better. We are always here when you need someone to listen *or read technically*!
Sadly, when there are boys like this... most of the time the parents are going to turn a blind eye regardless of when they're brought in. There's a reason their children are bullies. I feel for you. My parents are going through something similar in their neighborhood -- different issue, same lies being spread and half the neighborhood won't talk to the other half. *sigh* I hope it gets better for you. Soon.
I am sure everything is going to be ok! I know exactly what you mean. My prayers are with you. I hope you feel better soon.
Good Night my friend!
I want you to know I'm thinking of you and your son. I just need to think this through a bit. I'm feeling so angry at those parents right now. Don't we all want to think our kids are blameless. But in our heart of hearts, we know. I mean, they know. Right? Yes.
I'm sorry. That sounds very stressful. I hope this difficult situation improves or blows over soon.
So sorry that tis still goes on. I realy hope that these parents wake up and smell the coffee. They realy must know that it is not your pleasant natured boy, but just dont want to see.
Dont worry about talking about it on here, just let it out as it does help to get it out.
Hope things improve real soon for you
Carol
Aw hun, Im so sorry you're going through this. I can't imagine, but Im sure its just an uncomfortable state of being. I hope it does get better for you guys soon.
I found your blog through Family Fountain and I just wanted to stop over and say hello.
I am sorry to hear about the situation with your son. It must be terribly hard to go through. a mothers heart...*tear*...I pray that God would give you and your son favor with both the children and the parents.
I am hosting a Blogger Appreciation Week. I'm not sure if this is something you would be interested in or not. But, I would be delighted if you wanted to stop by and check it out.
Being Loved By Him, With You,
Daveda
What a mess. Such drama. But don't let bullies like that move you out of your neighborhood.
We don't mind one bit, darlin'. Vent away. We're here to listen.
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of this. Keep your chin up. :)
Blog=free therapy :)
We're here for you any time you need to vent. I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
What a pain! Parents can be so blind to their own child's shortcomings. I hope as my children grow I am able to see them and so I can help them improve. It irks me how often children grow up believing they can do no wrong and get away with anything because their parents believe them to be little angels. What a horrid predicament you are in. I wish I knew what to tell you, but I have no experience in this department. All I can do is give a listening ear and make speculation, which I'm sure is not helpful. So I'll just say I hope it can get worked out somehow.
I am with you all the way. It does feel very uncomfortable to be around those parents that think your child is a bully and also that they think that about your son. Hopefully the summer will be good and it will blow over.
Do you think talking to the other parents and clearing the air might help?
I think you were right in not involving the parents. I've learned from experience that the truth eventually does come out.
Septembermom...
Kids can be so cruel at times and the parents can even be worse. As someone above said...the reason the kids are the way they are is probably because of the parents. Hang in there...once the kids get past that "petty" period...things will get better...I promise.
Dan
I had a situation. A boy's mother cornered me complaining about my 5 year old son's treatment of her son when it was her kid that was the bully. Kids will sort themselves out and I told the mother so, adding the lie that I'd learned all about it when I did my child psychology training. We became friends. I hope you find a way to deal with it so that you and the neighbours can get along.
This is the first I've read about this story (I'm new to your blog). I'm sorry it is happening. We had a similar situation with my daughter ... another girl's father came to my office threatening to take my daughter to court (a 5th grader!!!!) and me too. He ignored that his wife went to the school and, based on their daughter's lies, verbally accosted my daughter, opening herself up to legal action, which we weren't interested in. (The school sided with us).
This is an example of moms and dads who have not grown up. My daughter didn't want us involved, and we abided by her wishes. But that was a mistake. It was too much for her to bear alone, and she went into a depression that took a couple of years for her to get out of.
What would I do now? 1) Try to reason with those parents. 2) Realize it might not work, that's why there is this problem, the parents are children entering into the little squabbles of their children, making them bigger. 3) What one parent I know recently did: had a sobber conversation with a parent that was spreading lies about her son. She said, "This has to stop. I can take legal action against you for spreading these kinds of stories, and I will do it if you don't stop." The other parent got the point and quit.
The biggest thing you can do for your son is what you are already doing very well - stay in his corner. Let him know you trust him.
Also know this, other parents of noble character can see the shady character of these parents and will not be drawn in. We were surprised just how many other parents were ashamed of the couple of kids and their parents arrayed against our daughter. You'll find the same thing.
God bless. I'll remember this in prayer for you and your son.
WB
I read what Warren had to say and loved it. I wish I could come over for coffee or tea and we could really have a good discussion about this. But I'll have to settle for sending you my support through the airways. This is something I will no doubt go through in my life later on and I hope you know that you opening up about it is a gift not a hindrance. It's sharing with others that makes this world a better place. Please don't ever change. Hugs!!
I'm so sorry to hear that is still going on. So the immaturity from the troubled and angry boys is being passed directly on from.. the immature parents, it sounds like? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
I too would like to send my support via the blogosphere and let you know you ARE supported in this. I wish there was an easy solution to these things, but unfortunately.. it's probably going to take time to work itself out.
Feel free to vent as often as you need. I can't imagine the stress you are feeling ... I wish I could tell you some kind of magic cure or share some experience that worked for me. Just know that it won't be forever (it will only feel that way). Hugs!
We're here for you!
I'm just sad you have to go through this. Hang in there and vent as much as you like!
I'm sorry this is happening! What a frustrating situation to be in! However, I really believe that your son isn't the only boy they are bullying, they will get caught sooner or later.
I do think that if they bully your son again, the parents should be notified, you don't want your son getting hurt. I hope somehow it works out. And I don't mind that you use blogging to vent, that is what blogging is all about, so vent away!
Oh, Septmom, how awful for you and your family. I hate bullies and have come across a few in my life. Thinking of you!
I pray for a bully free world everyday. My oldest was fed a dog biscuit at school this year. Man was I fumin. I hope things get better with your boy. You can always consider the "hand that Rocks the cradle" aproach. Ever seen that movie?
i wish i could say something helpful....
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