Showing posts with label amazing race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label amazing race. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

We wouldn't be a good team for The Amazing Race

Think of all the quality and quantity time together if my husband and I decided to be a team for one of my favorite reality shows. I know that my husband would just love this experience. (Insert sarcasm please.) Assuming that I didn't have to hypnotize or drug my husband to be my partner for The Amazing Race, please take a moment to listen in to the sweet nothings that we would exchange on the road.

Let's make this an official Top Ten post. Why not?

Top Ten Comments Made by Achy, Middle Aged (ouch!!) NY Couple Rushing through Kenya or Beijing or Australia (hey maybe I could bump into Hugh Jackman)

  1. "I have a cramp." This would be said every half hour, I bet.

  2. "It's like 105 degrees. They want us to run up that steep hill, carry our own 75 pound boat, and swim blindfolded through that eel filled murky water??" There better be an all you can eat buffet at the end of this leg.

  3. "I hope that we don't have to wear a bathing suit on national TV."

  4. "How can we catch Ken and Barbie who are smiling as they jump hurdles?" And I would add, "She has a belly shirt in every rainbow color to show off those abs. I'll keep my stretch marks to myself."

  5. "When's lunch? That question would be repeated often.

  6. "You pull. I push. Let's try it together. One, two, three..." I have a feeling that we would be lucky if we got that stubborn donkey to move 2 inches. Also, please imagine that my husband would probably share a couple of colorful expletives to try and motivate said donkey.

  7. "Keep your million dollars!" My husband would yell (hopefully without the expletives) at the poor host when we got eliminated. I would say, "Is there a consolation prize or a goody bag?"

  8. "Hey, don't you know French? Ask this guy for directions." "Honey, we're in Argentina."

  9. "Are we the only ones with full bladders in this race?"

  10. "Wake up!! It's 2:34 AM and we have to get to the airport." My husband would say, "Call your mother. I know she's 72 but she'll have more stamina."
So it looks like I need a new Amazing Race partner. Any takers? I'll bring cookies, and heating pads. LOL.