Connecting with older kids can be an intricate dance of emotion and distance. Mama learns quickly that she may not be the center of her child's universe anymore when that teen need for independence takes over. As a mom, I'm happy to see my children grow in maturity and explore their individuality. Sometimes it is all about stepping back and letting the child figure something out.
But then there are those days, when my teenage son or even pre-teen son inch closer to me for comfort or answers. With a quiet look or a request, they will look to me, and I know to stop my day to day running and inch a little closer to them. I'll take every one of those inches. I won't fight or yearn for their undivided attention. They will need to navigate through this world as individuals, but they can be assured that Mama will be only an "inch" away if they need anything. Even if we're not together in a set time or place, my children need to know that my love, support, and guidance sit somewhere within them to help and nurture through all life throws at them.
I appreciate every inch of connection that I gain during those unhurried moments of time with my kids. Kids and parents are holding onto that life rope together, inches apart on the line, but connected by inseparable love.
20 comments:
Gosh, I don't often have regrets for choosing not to have children, but, Kelly, this post has woken a yearning in me. Lovely. I think your kids are so lucky to have a Mom like you who can give them space when they need and be there when they need *you*. I appreciate that most in my Mom.
Judy (South Africa)
This was beautiful. My kids are 8 and 6, and I watch them grow increasingly independent a little more each year...it's so nice to see mothers with older children sharing like this. Thank you.
Really lovely, Kelly. Those requests can be so subtle sometimes, but I'm just sure you'll recognize it!
I love those moments. And Kel, Ivy is the youngest. So the six boys are mostly grown and gone with just Christopher and Cameron left. And they still come to me for comfort and advice.
Lovey post from a lovely woman. :-)
Ah-ha! When you get to P, you can do "P is for Poetry"! :D Problem solved!
Thanks for following my NPM!
=) You sound like one amazing mama.
You are a wonderful mother and I know your children are proud of you,
Yvonne.
Those moments are precious. I am little by little noticing how my soon to be 10 year-old son is growing independent of me, but I hang onto the times when he gives me a warm embrace, or wants to just sit down and have a conversation for a while.
What an amazing mom you are, Kelly, and your kids are blessed to have you. :)
Great post! My daughter is 8 and doesn't feel the need to hold my hand anymore when we cross a street and wants to do her own hair in the morning. :(
You have got the mix just right and it seems to me that your children know that. An inch away is good and in my experience that inch will be breached many times and they will always know you are there. Hugs carol x
Such beautiful sentiments about raising children. I wish I had had more patience when mine was tested. It's all over before you know it. Glad you know to stop and treasure every "inch"! :)
I've been reading "One Thousand Gifts" and came across a chapter today that involved this Mom and her teenaged son. I immediately thought of you. Such a wonderful book. I wish I had had this wisdom when my kids were younger!
Right now, Noah and I are in an interesting spot as mom and son. I cherish those inches too, because I know he is growing into a young man and leaving the "my baby" stage...
That last paragraph sounded like poetry. You could turn that into a poem I am certain.
Unhurried moments...I need to make more of those with my kids. I hope you are all on the mend.
I just know you are a wonderful mom. I could learn so much from you. I worry all the time about when they won't need me anymore. Your post gave me some hope that some part of them always will. Love that last line. Hugs.
So poignant, Kelly. Even your prose writing is like poetry.
You sound like a wonderful mom.
:-)
You children are so lucky to have you.
This was truly lovely and touching. It moved me and I hope to remember this as my son gets older and begins inching away.
As a mom, this really strikes me. What a wonderful post. I hope I can achieve the same. My oldest is 6, but he is already such an independent little soul.
Also, good luck with the A to Z Challenge!
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