I thought of what it must feel like to truly offer all of yourself in words to another. This poem tries to capture that surrender of self.
Raw
Speak with unveiled words.
Cry with wrung tears.
Scream with articulate pitch.
Whisper with verbal strokes.
Open to attack or discovery.
A human stripped on a raft.
Clear eyes lift to the other.
Self purge bleeds on.
19 comments:
Wow - beautifully done.
Whew, that is raw! But beautiful.
How is your son?
Whoa, Ms. Kelly! I'd say you did it!
Even the first line of your post itself is thought provoking. The rest is perfectly said. Thanks for sharing.
My whole life I have longed to express myself as authentically and eloquently as you do. This is breathtaking. BTW~ I was talking to my mom last night and she was raving about you and even asked how your son was doing with the bully. She is too shy to comment on someone's blog she doesn't "know" so I thought that I would pass the message along. You see- you touch people without even knowing it. :) ~Sara
That's intense. So raw...mission accomplished!
That was intense.. raw, unfiltered, emotional. I love that we're still being treated to poetry!
And please do update us on your son vs. bully when you get the chance!
Wow, I enjoyed your poem. This is very good. You are very talented : )
P.S. my favorite lines are "Whisper with verbal strokes...A human stripped on a raft"
"self purge bleeds on" BRILLIANT!
It's interesting to me that the raw is a purge vs just an opening. Definitely some heartfelt imagery there!
Beautifully expressed and said. Thank you!
That was truly awesome.
I read this poem and I think of how I try to control everything because I'm afraid of letting go. This poem is a great reminder to letting go and just stay true to yourself.
Loved it!
Kewl.
What I attempt to do with regular prose, you hit a home run with poetry.
Thank you for stopping by my blog today. It gave me the chance to read your beautiful poem. Well done!
"Speak with unveiled words" and "Open to attack or discovery" I like these two lines. Very deep poem, you really have a way with words. As writers I feel we must open ourselves to others so they can relate to our message and who we are and connect with us. Thank you for sharing.
Too too true. Sometimes writing does make me feel stripped and raw! Well described.
I really thought the phras "human stripped on a raft" just describes the idea of vulnerability so well!
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