Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Taking that chance to open up

I thought of what it must feel like to truly offer all of yourself in words to another. This poem tries to capture that surrender of self.

Raw

Speak with unveiled words.
Cry with wrung tears.
Scream with articulate pitch.
Whisper with verbal strokes.

Open to attack or discovery.
A human stripped on a raft.
Clear eyes lift to the other.
Self purge bleeds on.

20 comments:

Heather said...

Wow - beautifully done.

Sabrina said...

Whew, that is raw! But beautiful.
How is your son?

Dani said...

Lovely!

shabby girl said...

Whoa, Ms. Kelly! I'd say you did it!

Joanne said...

Even the first line of your post itself is thought provoking. The rest is perfectly said. Thanks for sharing.

Sara Moriarty-delaFuente said...

My whole life I have longed to express myself as authentically and eloquently as you do. This is breathtaking. BTW~ I was talking to my mom last night and she was raving about you and even asked how your son was doing with the bully. She is too shy to comment on someone's blog she doesn't "know" so I thought that I would pass the message along. You see- you touch people without even knowing it. :) ~Sara

Sneaky Momma said...

That's intense. So raw...mission accomplished!

CDB said...

That was intense.. raw, unfiltered, emotional. I love that we're still being treated to poetry!

And please do update us on your son vs. bully when you get the chance!

The Write Girl said...

Wow, I enjoyed your poem. This is very good. You are very talented : )

The Write Girl said...

P.S. my favorite lines are "Whisper with verbal strokes...A human stripped on a raft"

Gerri said...

"self purge bleeds on" BRILLIANT!

Michelle said...

It's interesting to me that the raw is a purge vs just an opening. Definitely some heartfelt imagery there!

Mervat said...

Beautifully expressed and said. Thank you!

Kari said...

That was truly awesome.

H.K. said...

I read this poem and I think of how I try to control everything because I'm afraid of letting go. This poem is a great reminder to letting go and just stay true to yourself.

Loved it!

G said...

Kewl.

What I attempt to do with regular prose, you hit a home run with poetry.

Ginny Marie said...

Thank you for stopping by my blog today. It gave me the chance to read your beautiful poem. Well done!

AVR said...

"Speak with unveiled words" and "Open to attack or discovery" I like these two lines. Very deep poem, you really have a way with words. As writers I feel we must open ourselves to others so they can relate to our message and who we are and connect with us. Thank you for sharing.

Ann Victor said...

Too too true. Sometimes writing does make me feel stripped and raw! Well described.

Kim said...

I really thought the phras "human stripped on a raft" just describes the idea of vulnerability so well!