Better with age

Like a hurricane blowing in to my town, I try and ride out visits from my in-laws. When I was younger, I would run around the house trying to get everything just right. The whole house would have to be cleaned from top to bottom. It was like I was preparing for a military inspection. Some of my in-laws like to give "helpful" comments about my cooking or housekeeping. Having a thin skin, I would take all these comments to heart. One little remark would ruin the whole visit for me. I couldn't wait until they pulled out of the driveway.

After 15 years of marriage, I am happy to report that I weather these visits better now. I realize that my in-laws may not be the easiest people to impress. They would probably find something wrong at Martha Stewart's house too :) Dropping all this anxiety, I enjoy their visits and actually have fun sometimes. As a more "veteran" wife, I realize that my house is what it is. All that matters for my sanity and happiness is knowing that my household management and cooking attempts are fine with me and my little gang. I'm glad that I don't have all that nervous energy anymore before a family visit. Now I try and play with my kids or sit back and watch some TV before they show up. It's a nicer way to ease into a potentially crazy get together.

Maybe I should change the household theme every time they visit. I could do a whole sixties thing, complete with lava lamps, beads and strobe lights. I can imagine the looks they would exchange. I can just hear the comment on their ride home: "We knew she was DIFFERENT than us!" That's o.k. with me.

Lonely in the crowd

There are days that I feel alone even when my household is bustling with activity. My kids are all about action. They jump from one activity to the next. My two middle boys are now very involved in planning a cops and robbers game with their toy cars. They are fully in the zone. I know that any of my comments or questions would probably bounce right off their heads and into oblivion. My oldest son's eyes are fixed on his football video game. So you know there is no hope for a conversation there. Oh, I hear the sound of explosions coming from the living room. My husband has found another one of those intense, bullet filled action movies for his afternoon enjoyment. I guess he surfed right by that romantic "chick flick" which would have caught my eye. My 3 year old daughter is my usual buddy during the day. However, she is caught up in her daily meeting with Dora the Explorer. So I better not disturb her.

While all this is going on, I'm puttering around the house. Cleaning up that stain on the carpet. Finding dirty socks jammed in the oddest places. Sorting the recycling. Planning tonight's dinner. The house may be loud right now, but I'm moving around in my own quiet way getting things done. It's almost like I'm invisible. In some ways, it's nice to walk around with my own thoughts. I can see how you can feel lonely in a crowd. I know my family loves me. But I sometimes feel like just the maid around here. These are the moments when I miss my girlfriends who I can always count on for a good laugh or an interesting conversation.

Hooray for all those great blogging buddies out there! I look forward to connecting with you on your blogs today. As you can tell from my blog title, I'm glad to have a forum where my voice can be heard. One of my kids is yelling for me now. Maybe invisibility is not too bad after all :)