What's with the popular crowd?

When I was in high school, I hung out with good friends who had similar interests. We were definitely not the popular crowd. We did have fun and enjoyed our high school years together. I was probably considered one of those quiet, "good" kids by most of the student body. With my friends, I talked up a storm. Introvert to the majority; extrovert to my minority.

Whether consciously or not, I remember actively trying to immerse my firstborn son in lots of social, extracurricular activities. I wanted him to be social and comfortable with other kids. I would go out of my way to encourage him to talk and play with other children. As a young boy, he did make many friends and enjoyed being one of the group.

I've always considered my son to be well liked and maybe, even sort of popular. Tonight, he tells me that he is at one of the "loser" lunch tables. He laughed when he said it. Apparently, it doesn't bother him. He thinks it is no big deal. It's just the way it is now at his middle school. Typical of middle school, there are a couple of popular tables surrounded by all the not so popular or "loser" little tables.

He told me not to worry that he still has a bunch of good friends. What did surprise me is that many of the kids who were his "friends" over the elementary school years are no longer interested in even saying hello to my son anymore. Just last year, all of these kids seemed to not be so concerned with categorizing themselves into one group or another.

My son seems fine with the situation. Funny how it bothers me though. After all my attempts to socialize my son, it turns out that he is just like me, sitting at a table with his few good buddies. I guess you have to be born with that popular gene :) I know that the popular group at his school gets into trouble, so he's better off without them. I'm just amazed at how some boys (that I've known since they were 5) all of a sudden act like my son doesn't exist anymore.

It's like something clicked in some of these 11 year old brains. Once they turned 12, these boys decided that they are off to the popular world and some old friendships are expendable.

Interesting to watch the popular crowd form right before my eyes once again. I guess middle school/high school politics will never change.

Little Hands, Big Accomplishments

Hand in hand, my 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter love to walk onto our driveway and get ready for their games. It's a sweet time together for all of us in the early morning. Big brothers are off to school. The young ones get to be the stars for a change.

I wish I had my pom poms today to cheer them on. My youngest son tends to be the equipment carrier, water boy and third string player sometimes, when my older sons are running a game. They invite him to play, but I think he feels a little intimidated watching them over the years.

Today, with a determined look, my young athlete wanted to try and conquer the BIG basketball hoop. He has mastered his small hoop, but I guess he felt ready to go for the big guy one. After a bunch of shots, he got the ball in the net! You should have seen his face! He was so excited. I think I saw my little guy enter the big boy world today. He was so proud, and so was I.

At another part of the driveway, my princess was inventing her own little hula hoop tricks. My daughter is petite and very dainty. I think she should have a parasol when she walks around. She runs around so carefully. She is probably pretending to be a butterfly. Her absolute favorite "animal" in her mind. When the boys are barreling around her, she scoots through all the playtime chaos. Sometimes she's so quiet that you could forget she is right in the middle of the action.

Today, I saw my princess start to become a little daring. Big step for her little self! She loved showing off all her new maneuvers with the hula hoop. Being so small, she can't do it the "right" way, but she has found her own fun way to play with the hoop. Jumps, throws, spins... I heard so many "watch me's" from her this morning. She was so proud of her hula hoop prowess. I saw such a sparkle in her eyes as she went from one move to the next. She truly loved being in the driveway spotlight for a change.

I think my big boys may have some competition from the little ones when it comes to driveway play time. It's great to see the younger ones find and define their own place as "kids in their own right".

I better go watch the American Idol finale. Now I'm leaning towards Chris. They are both talented guys. I just glanced at the TV. Did you see Adam's weird outfit? Do you think Cher had a garage sale? And wait a minute! KISS just came on stage. That's a blast from my past.

Cooperation would be nice!

Can everyone please settle down?
One more time and I'm stopping this van.
Off with the TV; on with the pajamas.
Please put all those 1,000 toys away.
Extra cookie if you calm your sister down.
Running in the house is not an option.
Arguing with me won't get you anywhere.
Tell your father why the van is scratched.
I want to know why there is a lake in the bathroom.
Other "Moms" do not live here.
Never use your brother as a battering ram.

Can you tell that no one has been listening too well today in my house? Life with kids is an adventure. Some days, I feel more like a drill sergeant than a mom. One order after the other. Wouldn't cheerful, instant cooperation from your kids be wonderful? Those parenting books make it look way too easy :) Kids move along on their own track most of the time. Hopefully, I can ride along side on my own mom track watching that they don't fall off.

The Barber Shop Debate

My 12 year old son wants to look like the other boys in his school. Understandable, especially at that impressionable age. He has been letting his hair grow long for a while now. My other two boys march off to the barber every month to get their usual short haircut. Hubby likes a very short haircut for himself. Of course, these guys think they are funny when they call my oldest "the hippy of the family". Although his hair can look unruly at times, I think that he looks like the typical kid his age in my neighborhood.

Ten minutes before his bus this morning, my shaggy boy came out of the bathroom with a true "don't bother me" look on his face. I could tell that something was bugging him. Instead of muting the questioning mom in me, I decided to ask the leading question, "What's the matter today?" With a sigh, he gave me the standard kid answer, "Nothing". Since the clock was ticking, I let the conversation drop, so I could finish getting lunches and backpacks ready for the day. Well, it turned out that my oldest wanted the conversation to continue because he followed me into the kitchen.

"I hate how my hair is curling up over here in the back." So naturally, I asked, "Do you want to go to the barber and have him fix it for you?" What a look I got from him! "Mom, you know that he is going to cut it too short and I'll look stupid." My response: "Well, we can tell the barber exactly how you would like it cut. He has been cutting boys' hair for years. I'm sure that he won't screw it up." Here's this pre-teen's response: "Mom, don't be ridiculous. He doesn't know how to do it right." So I come back with, "Then leave it as it is. Don't worry about it." He replied, "Mom, you are no help." Well, with a roll of the eyes, my son grabbed his backpack and went off to the school bus.

When my son's 12th birthday arrived, I knew that moodiness would soon follow. I guess I'm on the teen emotional roller coaster for a while now. During those screaming toddler days, my mom told me to hang in there until the "age of reason". From her arsenal of mom wisdom, she wanted me to know that calmer, more rational days were ahead for me and my battling little guy. The teen years are fast approaching; reasonable debates are probably not happening for a while. As they say, patience is a virtue. It will be a challenge to keep my cool sometimes when my 12 year old tries to push my buttons during our debates or arguments. I have to remember that his emotional development is still immature. Bigger kids, bigger tantrums : )

Hopefully, he'll forget all about his hair after a busy day at school. But what issue may be next?

Moving things around

Our school district calls so early to announce a snow day. Today at 5 a.m after receiving the call, I found three boys staring at me as I pretended to sleep. Snow day mania began in my house. Despite their pleas to go out at 7 a.m., I held my ground and told them that we had to wait until the strong, cold winds settled down. You can imagine the disappointed looks on their faces. I hoped that we would have better weather for snow play in the afternoon. Now we had a whole morning ahead of us. I needed to think of some activity to pass the time before the inevitable battles began. I decided to recruit them to my moving team.

Every once in a while, I will sit in one of the rooms in my house and rearrange things in my head. I don't often get the chance to move things around to change a room's look. This morning seemed like the right time to shake things up in my house a bit. Luckily, my kids also like when I play around with a room's layout. It turned out to be a great exercise in cooperation, creativity, teamwork and brainstorming for the kids. We also had a lot of fun in the process. Each kid felt they had an important role in the new room design. The morning hours flew by, and we found a new way to spend family time together. It's also funny how an old chair can become so popular with the kids once it is in a new spot. They all were competing for a chance to use it as their new TV chair.

It still doesn't look too kid friendly outside for playing in the snow. Luckily, the kids are not glued to the window and watching the clock as much. Maybe I'll put them to work organizing old pictures this afternoon. Won't my husband be surprised when he sees what we've been up to today?

My little ones

The day in the life of a mom goes by so quickly. The day is filled with housework, kids' activities, errands and homework. It is 11 p.m. before I get the chance to slow down on some days. That is around the time each night that I take a quick peek at my sleeping kids. Even though my kids range in age from 12 to 3, they all share the same innocence and sweetness while sleeping. If I had a particularly trying day refereeing mega battles between my kids, I find this quick peek at them to be therapeutic on so many levels. Any leftover tension fades away; any lingering frustration disappears. I can once again see their infant faces filled with contentment and trust. I wish those images would come to me during the typical conflicts and stresses of a day raising kids. I know that we are all human and tend to react before thinking. I confess to often jumping too quick into a "fight mode". As a mom, I want to find a way to reach that state of reason and sympathy which I have during my night time peek at the kids.

I think that sometimes too much going on in a household can lead to chaos. It's great that we're busy and happy in our activities. As a family, I want to slow us down every once in a while, so I can take the times to appreciate all the beauty and wonder within my kids. Just like when we may feel compelled to stop and view a gorgeous sunset, we need to make the time to have quiet, thoughtful times with each of our children.

Make the conscious effort to slow down and giggle with your kids.