Maintaining intimacy in a relationship takes work. What do you do when your tired body and worn down emotions take over during those potential moments to connect? Night after night, I find myself sneaking over to my bedroom while my husband snores on the recliner. I take that little time for me to read or just breathe. I feel kind of guilty that I don't wake him to spend some time together. I'm just so wiped out by that time of night. All I want to do is be alone. Each morning, I tell myself that I'll try harder to make the time to connect again with my husband. By 11 p.m. each night, I'm finally finished with the housework and I'm definitely not in the mood to do anything.
I know that we need to schedule time for each other. Who knows when we'll be able to do it. We are overloaded with the kids' activities and my husband's job demands. I'm up to my ears in school volunteer projects too. I know all the things that we can do to spice up the relationship. It just doesn't seem like it's in the cards these days. Just having a kid free conversation can be a challenge.
Lots of kids bring lots of joy and responsibilities. It also can help stall couple time. My husband's job is also very stressful and time consuming too. After two years of unemployment, we are so happy that he is working. It feels like our relationship fell into a predictable pattern right after his layoff. All of that stress and worry took its toll on us. Since the new job pays so much less, we still feel stressed and stretched. I think that we always carry a nervousness in the air as we wonder about the stability of this job.
Even though I know that I should devote that time to my hubby, I must confess that I enjoy that little bit of time alone each night. Being pulled in so many directions all day must make me crave a time when no one needs me for anything. My husband kind of makes it easy for me to hide away at night because he is conked out on the recliner.
I wonder about my desire for solitude. Does anyone else feel that need for solitude? I have to admit that I would grieve the loss of that me time at night. I love that feeling of just "me". It may only last for 20 minutes, but I'll take it.
When there doesn't seem enough hours in the day, how do you find the time for solitude and energy for intimacy with your spouse? I joke with my husband that we'll have to be real romantic in our senior years to make up for all this lost time.