My dear graduates, as you are about to embark on the next chapter of your life, please be ready to put your fun loving college days aside. As I channel David Letterman's comedy writers for inspiration, here are my top 5 reasons why you can no longer go back to your dorm tomorrow:
- Your father wants to have a meeting with you about the twenty circled "Help Wanted" ads that he thinks would be perfect for you.
- After last night's graduation party, the Residence Director is on the hunt for all those who participated in the "keg rolling down the stairs Olympics".
- There's a lovesick freshman camping out in front of the door singing through tears, "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?"
- If you want to drive your car again, your father suggests that you find some income to pay for gas.
- After 30 shots of some mystery alcoholic concoction, can you even find your dorm?
Update on my stubborn illness: I had 4 vials of blood taken yesterday. They are trying to figure out what is going on with me. I feel like a patient on "House". The good news is that I'm feeling much better today. Hopefully, all this will pass by tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like I'm on "General Hospital", but where are all those sexy doctors? Happy Friday!!