Saturday, March 21, 2009

Get me off this Island

Two minutes off the boat, I would probably be willing to bribe Jeff Probst to get me back to civilization. After yesterday's post about my fear of wildlife, no big surprise that I wouldn't be the ideal Survivor contestant. Here are my top 10 (out of 100) reasons why I wouldn't survive Survivor:

10. You want me to eat that?

9. The second tree to the left is the new "potty" for the tribe.

8. The next challenge is only a 10 mile walk away.

7. I'm seeing more of my tribe than I need to. Remember some of those skinny dipping guys.

6. Tell leering guy that there is no room on my side of the tribe blanket.

5. Jeff gave only one bar of soap as a reward for all of us to share.

4. What's crawling on my arm? up my leg? in my hair?

3. No air freshener for camp.

2. Swim how far to get what thingy? Jeff, please repeat those challenge directions ten times.

1. Stop asking me to be in an alliance. I'm not in the mood to socialize.

1 in 16 chance for a million is not enticing enough to me. I would rather look like a fool and sing on that remember the lyrics show. At least, I would still resemble a human being :)

What would drive you crazy if you were on Survivor?


Mari said...

I would never survive Survivor and would probably be the first one voted off! I need running water and electricity to survive. I couldn't handle the food or the long hikes although that part of it would be good for me! I would love the photo ops though!

shabby girl said...

You would still resemble a human being, AND not have thingys crawling on you!
No, I couldn't do it. I need to know what I'm eating, and it would NEVER be a bug of any kind. Are these people CRAZY???

LuAnn said...

Where do I plug my curling iron and blow dryer in? How do in wash my clothes and I'm not talking in the river? I gag easy - so I would be on a great weight loss program!!!!!

Joanne said...

Everything! I need edible food, and all the modern amenities, and completely must have my own house. I'd never last there.

T Rex Mom said...

You had me at 10 - I have a long list of "I don't eat that"!

Jenners said...

Well, I pretty much share much of what you shared! I find the challenges confusing when they are done on TV so I think I'd need the directions repeated 10 times too! And no bugs. And I'm a total freakazoid if I miss a meal. And a bitch if I don't get 8 hours of solid sleep. Needless to say, all of this would get me voted out first thing. We had taken a break from watching Survivor for a few years and then started back up last year (loved last season!) and we are watching again this year. I can't stand that Coach guy!!!

Anyway, this was a fun post. Am I wrong in noticing a bit of change in shift in your writing and posts lately? You seem to be having a bit more "fun" and not being so "serious." Don't get me wrong -- I like you both ways but lately it seems like you've been writing a bit differently! Me likes! (And again, I like your reflective posts too!)

Michelle said...

I think your list pretty much covers it... except for the walking 10 miles. That part I'd be ok with. And possibly the swimming, depending on who or what is swimming with me.

But the biggest problem? The stupid people. I have a hard time watching reality tv for that reason in general!

Deedee said...

Hahaha! Great post! Although I love Survivor, I would never attempt to be on it, for the reasons you listed.

Kim said...

Boy am I with you on this one. A million dollars is definitely not enough incentive for me to be dealing with bugs, outhouses and hungry grumpy people I don't know. I'll stay comfy in my modest surroundings and deal with the people I know (who are hungry and grumpy enough).

The Write Girl said...

This is totally cute and so true. Many of the things you mentioned are total deal breakers.
Bad food, poor bathroom facilities, and bugs!!!
Now amazing race may be right up your alley.
You get to travel the world and see things and you get the modern luxuries in life. : )

Sara Moriarty-delaFuente said...

you couldn't pay me enough to even consider it. they should have a reality show contest about taking action toward your dreams. I'd be up for that. but being on a remote island in improper living conditions. whats the point of that.

MiMi said...

But as a plus? You always have super white teeth! Have you ever noticed those people are filthy, yet their teeth are minty fresh?
PS I would strangle Jeff when he's doing that crappy play by play during challenges. Yes, Jeff, I know I just took it on the face when I fell off the wooden beam thingy. Duh.

Holly Noelle @ Domestic Dork said...

I've never really watched Survivor. But from what I can gather I think the stress and politics would drive me crazy! I have no patience for mind/social games.

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