Saturday, April 16, 2011

N is for Negotiate

Wouldn't it be a nice change for me to close my bedroom door and hang up a sign that says, "Mama, the Negotiator is off duty." Keeping everyone in the house sort of happy seems to be all about negotiation. I find it to be an exhausting process often. It's a Saturday afternoon and the kids all seem to have their own agendas for what they want to do at a given moment. Inevitably, there will be a battle because each kid wants to stay firm with their idea of what is fun to do. How stubborn each of the boys can be when they want their own way.

Kids have too many choices these days. I hate when they spend half the day arguing about picking an activity instead of just enjoying being kids. Since I tend to be a peacemaker, I get involved in their debates and try to mediate the negotiations. When I succeed in that role, I breathe a sigh of relief. But there are days like today and I can't get anywhere in these negotiations.

Call me negotiator. Call me ego juggler around here. Call me when you can take me out for some chocolate :) There's my Saturday rant. I'm sending the crowd outside now with a ball and a prayer. Hopefully, I won't have to throw anyone into the penalty box.

I think my negotiation tool of my mama's toolbox is getting worn down. Well, before I know it, they'll be dating and I'll miss these days when mama was so needed as the negotiator. Or will I miss those moments? LOL

23 comments:

allenaim photography and design said...

oh ALL. THE. TIME!! As if they don't have enough toys to share!! ...a constant battle...

T Rex Mom said...

At least Easter is around the corner - maybe the Easter Bunny will leave you some chocolate for all the treaties you've negotiated between your kids!

joss said...

you should get yourself a good book, a cup of hot choc, maybe some candles and bubble bath, get the kids to bed early one night and have a long soak followed by snuggling up to a good film or your book lol.
sounds like you've earned it lol

kisatrtle said...

oh how I relate to this!

Mari said...

You won't miss those exact moments, but you'll miss these days!

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Having had three children myself I miss the days you're going through.
These days they are all adults have lives and children of their own and dear old mum has to take a back seat....rightly so. But I do miss the days they were children I felt needed.

Yvonne.

Robyn Campbell said...

Negotiation is a mommy's best means of working stuff out quickly. I use it all the time. :-) Love this post. Stomach bug gone, I hope? :-)

Randi said...

Your post reminds me of something I heard about how one family solved disputes. Every time the kids came to the parents with a he said/she said issue, the kids had to write the problem on a board and the parents would schedule a "court" where each child had to present his "evidence." After a few days the kids grew tired of writing the problem on the board and waiting for the court, so to avoid the extra work, they would tell mom, "Never mind. We solved it ourselves." Genius, huh? :) I loved your "Call me when you can take me out for some chocolate." I'm there!
Off I go, to try to think of a good "N" word myself.

Jenners said...

These posts could be put into a Motherhood from A to Z book. This rang true...and I only have one kid to negotiate with!

Hyacynth said...

I think that's exactly the sign you should make then. Mama needs a break! Ooooh! Another N word -- needs. :)
I feel like this, too, Kelly, and I only have two. One cannot really even talk yet. lol.

Linda Myers said...

I remember those days! Kids are all grown up now, and our house is quiet. It's a mixed blessing!

Susan Fobes said...

My kids were at it today too, but with the rain storm...sigh. Sorry I haven't been around lately Kelly, but I'm trying to catch up. Swing by my site for an award.

Wanda said...

Good word pick. Good thing that as aunt I don't have to negotiate too often.

Kari said...

I know how you feel - it's never ending! My oldest son (17) and his Dad have been arguing alot lately. I feel like I'm constantly trying to smooth things over between them.

baygirl32 said...

know how you feel, kiddo is 11, and is a great negotiator

Ken Devine said...

Mari is right, but your kids will remember some specifics long after they marry and have kids themselves.
The toolbox will never wear down...especially when it will be needed so much for the teenage years.

Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) said...

You know what, why don't you do that - hang that "Mama, the Negotiator is off duty." sign! Let them figure it out themselves. I wonder how it's gonna go?!

When my sister and I argue about anything when we were growing up, we found that whenever we involved the parents or the grown-ups, we get scolded for not getting along and neither of us is going to get what we want. So eventually we learned to keep our arguments to ourselves, and take turns with who gets what.

But then when my sister and I were all grown, someone asked my mother how was it raising girls, she said, that my sister and I were easy but she thought we were very secretive. Thinking about this, I don't really know if that is a good thing.

Kim said...

I think being the peacemaker is something I will strive for when my kids start this. Right now my days consist of reminding Deaglan that Naveen is a baby, he doesn't understand. And of course I have to remember that Deaglan is still sort of a baby and he doesn't understand!

Louisiana Belle said...

Oh, I remember those days well! I thought they'd never end...then they did. As quickly as they began, it seemed. :/ *hugs*

The Write Girl said...

Negotiating can be tough. I think you will miss those moments when they grow up. Right now it's tough but when we look back, we'll say those were the days!! Well, hope you enjoy the upcoming week.

Michelle said...

I so get that... but my strategy is to tell them that they have 5 minutes to figure out a solution themselves. After that, I impose the rules, and it's going to be something neither of them likes (or I'm taking away the toy, depending on the situation). Fortunately, they seem to do a pretty good job on their own now, but OH how I feel for you!

Gerri said...

Hmmm, I don't know. I get tired of being the negotiator too. I think you will miss it, one day. ;)

Angela said...

Negotiator. Now that's a role I know ALL too well. Some days I intervene, and other days, I tell them they have to learn to work out their differences amongst themselves. If you find one of those signs, let me know because I want one, too. :)