Wednesday, March 21, 2012

homework, playing, toothbrushing, "chilling," and maybe a little talk once in a while with Mom

It could be any ordinary weeknight between the dishes and pajamas when I may decide to sound all philosophical with the kids.  There must be a certain look on my face or tone to my voice at that time because my boys seem to let out a collective sigh when I begin to share a life thought or two with them.  I want to add more of these bonding (my boys would cringe on that one) or teachable moments with the kids.  My oldest is 15 already and he's plugged into his music literally and totally a lot of the time.  I need to grab hold his attention whenever I get the chance considering all of the competing influences in his teen life.

Sometimes I'll be serious.  Sometimes I'll be silly.  The kids need to know that their Mama (with all her craziness at times) wants to connect with them often and meaningfully.  Five minutes here; ten minutes there.  Who knows? Maybe even 20 minutes some nights.  Family game night is a great idea, but I vote for a family discussion time too.

While watching "The Voice" the other night, I went on and on about grabbing the "creative" in all that you do and experience.  My 15 year old son seemed to be interested for the first 5 minutes.  By the second five minutes of my lecture, he said, "Mom, I got it."  Hopefully, he "got" that I think discussion is as vital as breathing for a family.

15 comments:

Penny said...

Your kids are lucky to have a mom who wants to connect with them. They may be teens now and a little unresponsive, but when they get a little older, they'll realize exactly how lucky they are. =)

Valerie said...

Flashback to when my son said those very words... 'Mom, I got it'. I suppose I did labour a few points but I felt hurt when he said that. Of course, I know now that he just wanted his own space and I was filling it. Kids, huh? Stick with it, Kelly.

#1Nana said...

I had some of my best discussions with my kids in the car driving to activities or to the nearest mall (a half an hour away.) There are some benefits to living in a rural area where the distances are long.

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

It's great that you actively seek out moments to impart wisdom to your kids. I'm taking pointers from you! It's true that that this generation is so plugged-in that they often tune-out. So, hooray for finding time to connect. They will internalize and appreciate it one day.

Jenners said...

Keep on talking … they are hearing it but they might not even realize it until later when they hear you in their head. I've found that to be true for myself!

Michelle said...

Keep that connection. I love it! And I know it's hard with teens. I'm not there yet, but I hear about it from friends. Someday they'll appreciate it. In five minute increments ;)

Becca said...

You are an awesome mom. And while he may respond that way, he is totally listening. Keep it up!

kisatrtle said...

Oh he was listening....

Wendy said...

being that influence is important and i believe they will remember what you say when they are older. you are a great mom...I need to get more convos going with my little ones too! Thanks for the reminder!

Jillien said...

such a good mama! they are lucky to have someone who loves them unconditionally and is also interested in their lives! i agree that having a family meeting or family talk periodically is a wonderful idea!

Sarah Laurence said...

You sound like a very engaged parent -that is good! It's important to keep the conversation going with teens. I find my teenaged boy is more willing to converse when we are moving, in a car or on a walk.

T Rex Mom said...

You're making me realize that I've got to hold on to the moments when the kids want my attention because the days of wanting none of it are just around the corner. Thanks for the reminder.

Gerri said...

I'm noticing that as Noah ages that I have to be more creative in connecting with him as well. Good luck. :)

The Write Girl said...

Discussion is so key to staying in touch with your kids. I'm sure your words of wisdom are sinking in. They usually just don't admit to it but you mean a great deal to them. You are a fabulous mom! Take care and hope you enjoy the spring weather!

Kim said...

I love the idea of family discussion night. I already know how hard it is to keep the male attention - Shaune usually tunes me out after the first five minutes so I can only imagine what teen boys would be like! You're an inspiration as a mother to me my friend.