Monday, April 18, 2011

O is for Onion

Now I'm not going to get into a big philosophical reflection about all the layers of my "personal" onion - remember that scene in Shrek?

Here's a public service announcement for all you moms who need some peaceful time alone in the kitchen, hopefully rocking to some good tunes from the 80's or 90's.

If you're having one of those days filled with kids and their reports about who did what to who, I recommend this quick and easy strategy to keep the revolving door battling kids outside the kitchen when you're trying to get dinner together.

"Don't come in here. I'm cutting an onion. Remember your eyes!" Now you first have to instill a fear of cut onions into your children's heads.

You should see how fast my kids will run for the hills and sometimes bond over their escape from the "deadly" onion tear making fumes that are hitting the kitchen.

It's funny to think that my me time could be my "onion" time too. I'll even deal with those stinging eyes for a little time to sing along with Bon Jovi in peace. (Another vlog moment!) A mama will take what she can get on some days.

Imagine if one of my kids wanted to be a professional chef? Even though their adult minds will know that they can handle the onion, I wonder if a little distrust of onions from these adventures will hang on a bit. I know. Another reason that they will complain about me on the therapy couch. LOL.

Now if I starting cutting onions in the bedroom so I can read, then they will start to figure me out!

21 comments:

welcome to my world of poetry said...

I really enjoyed this letter O post. I wish I could write with the sense of humour you have.

Yvonne.

Angela said...

Oh Kelly, you make me laugh right when I need it! I wish I could use that trick with my boys, but they cook with me fairly often, so I know they'd look at me like I'm crazy. I'll have to brainstorm on what else I could use...

Robyn Campbell said...

Kel, you ALWAYS make me giggle. The kids running for the hills sounds disturbingly familiar. SHEESH! :-)

Louisiana Belle said...

Haha, I was thinking before I got to the end, "Wonder if this will end up in a therapy session?" LOL You are a funny lady. I would say the bathroom is a more likely place to attain peace, but my kids never respected that either! :)

welcome to my world of poetry said...

Thanks for commenting pn my poems, I value your comments very much,

Yvonne.

Ella said...

You are funny; I love this though~
I have heard,if you chew gum, while cutting the onion, your eyes won't tear. I think it depends on the strength of the onion and flavor of gum. It worked for me once, I think it was peppermint! WE all need a bit of time for ourselves, even if it involves tearful interludes with an onion. So appealing....lol

Teresha@Marlie and Me said...

LOL! Every mom needs a trigger that send the kids packing and affords her a moment's peace

Ken Devine said...

Hi Kelly
Is it the stuff at the bottom of the onion that affects your eyes? If you cut from the top first you should be okay...I think. You are going to try it, right?

Ruth said...

That's funny. I would never have thought of that.
welcome to me

yummy stuff

T Rex Mom said...

Cleaver. Time to buy some onions and start the training.

nutschell said...

funny! its a great idea, but i don't know how ill be able to read when my eyes are gushing like a water fountain. I am so not good with cutting onions!
nutschell
www.thewritingnut.com

Jenners said...

Brilliant tip! I see a lot of onion abased meals in my future!

Michelle said...

Alright lady, WHAT did you do to them to instill such a fear of onions? Even Mister Man is ok with onions. Though it cracks me up sometimes that he worries about the fumes from garlic making him cry ;)

shabby girl said...

Oh my gosh! LOL!!! Yeah, whatever it takes sometines, right? I loved it Kelly!
And what is so cool is that they will be outside the kitchen actually "TALKING to one another" about what is wrong with Mom!!!

Randi said...

We did it! For the first time we posted the same word!

Dan said...

You just have to learn to read in the kitchen - that'll hold them off for a few more years.

And of course once they are in the tweens and older, you can just mention the words cleaning and laundry and they will not be found anywhere near.

Valerie said...

Don't let on to the kids that there is a way of peeling onions wihout tears...grins

Stephanie said...

LOL!! Never though to use the onion excuse to keep everyone out of the kitchen!!! Too bad I have an open floor plan...my kitchen is all open into the dining room!

Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) said...

That is a neat trick! Never thought of that before!
My 4-year old runs away from me whenever I mention that - it's bath time or time to brush his teeth.

Kim said...

I was laughing out loud with this one Kell. It's genius really. I'm going to get started on step one: instill the fear. Brilliant!

Gerri said...

Before I got to the last line, I was thinking the same thing. Onions in my bathroom, my bedroom, etc. lol!