Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Poetry quickfire

Unearth

Decipher the obvious
to sculpt some truth
aching to be heard.

Shake the monotony
to unsettle the calm
stifling a miracle.

Crack that edifice
to peer through haze
cloaking the ascent.

Back to mashing my potatoes :) The kids said to me as I wrote this one, "Mom, why are you staring into space?" I said to them, "I'm writing a poem." They looked at me like I said that I was planning a mission to Mars!!

27 comments:

glnroz said...

Well, I liked it,, even if you had to go to Mars to get it. Ain't kids great?

T Rex Mom said...

Hey, I plan missions to Mars all the time and they don't result in such lovely poetry!

Caroline said...

OMG...you just spit this out as you were preparing dinner? LOL...love it!

Joanne said...

I like this poem. To me, it speaks of finding meaning beneath the simplicity. Interesting how you ended with a very strong stanza, which I see as thoughts on seeing past layers of obstacles (edifice and haze), until we can rise above and achieve meaning. I could go on, about the word choice of ascent, as it implies religious connotations, esp around the holidays when we should really look at our everyday life, and appreciate it.

Teri said...

You were looking through the clouds to unearth yet another lovely poem. I am totally impressed with your work. More, please. :-)

Don said...

Lovely structure: lines in each stanza that run parallel... Excellent verbs... carrying the load of description instead of adjectives... tied up neatly with a "bow": title.

And very meaningful too. (Joanne did a nice job in her comment.)

I'd read it a few times.

Oh. I did. ;-)

Caitlin said...

I love the way that one flows. And I can just imagine your kids' reaction- ha!

TheChicGeek said...

I'm giggling at what you told the kids :) Good for you, you are teaching them to be creative and to think even during monotonous tasks like mashing potatoes...lol
Finding joy in every moment of the day...now that's poetry!
I love the opening lines to this one, "Decipher the obvious
to sculpt some truth
aching to be heard."
Sometimes the answers are just right there in front of us, aren't they.
Beautiful poem :)
Have a lovely evening!

The Write Girl said...

Wonderful poem...I like your poetry quickfires. The last stanza is extremely impressive. I like the comment about your kids as well. Very cute : )

Robyn Campbell said...

Magnificent. And while preparing supper? WOW! Inspiring me to write some poetry. I dabble, but I want more. :)

Life, Uncharted. said...

I miss your quickfires and this is beautiful. Certainly calls for a breakthrough from the routine of life to grab one's destiny and live.

destrella said...

those were some inspiring potatos! Wow! :O)

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

Where is your ode to mashed potatoes? Now THAT would be an excellent poem, tasty one too I bet. :-)

Lois Lane II said...

You are so ridiculously talented!!

Jillien said...

lol those beautiful kids of yours are always saying/doing the funniest things.

I often stare into nothingness as if I'll find the perfect word there and be able to pick it out of mid air. I'm constantly looking for words that mean but don't say what I'm trying to express. Perhaps what you are describing is a poet's daze--always in a state of observation and contemplation.

I love this poem. I love the recurring method in each stanza. You are such a talented poet :)

christy rose said...

keep mashing those potatoes cause they are moving you in the "write" direction. :)

Janna Qualman said...

Kelly, I LOVE that! And it's so me. Doing something mundane, all-the-while plotting or writing in my head. Awesome.

Trudy said...

Lovely words, wonderful. I need to start writing poetry again.

Randi said...

You are so incredibly talented. I wish I could just spout poetry the way you do. Like Don said, these striking verbs just lead you right through the entire poem, creating such impactful (is that a word?)visuals.

Susan Fobes said...

"Decipher the obvious to sculpt some truth..." I love this line. Truth is what we all strive for, but sometimes we've known all along. (We need to listen more to that voice inside us.)
My journalism background ruined me when it comes to poetry-I am too factual now. BTW: I am up with a brand new router tonight, so I hope to get a new post out this evening!

Jenners said...

I love the juxtaposition of your poetry and then the glimpse into your reality! : )

Michelle said...

Well hey, if this is what planning a mission to Mars gets you, I think you ought to do it more often. Who cares what the kids think? Enjoy those mashed potatoes!

Vicky said...

Intriguing metaphors! I relate so well :) All three stanzas actually require you to unearth something to understand them... a puzzle in a poem!

He & Me + 3 said...

You amaze me...mashing potatoes while writing poetry. I am sure your kids totally didn't get it because duh? where was your pencil and paper if you were writing poetry? LOL Great job!

Jen said...

nice! and by the way

Quiet drama of Wyeth, LOVE THAT!!!!

G said...

Space cadetting is always a good thing, whether it produces a nifty little poem like this, or it produces a nifty little break from the clutter of the day-to-day grind.

Gerri said...

You are so talented, my friend. ;)