Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thankful Anyway Thursday


The wonderfully honest and insightful Mon, over at Holistic Mama, invites us to join in with Thankful Anyway Thursday. In Mon's words, "It's easy to be thankful for the good stuff, can you be thankful for the not so good?"

Here is a poem expressing what my sister and I shared yesterday.

Grief Still Visits

I saw your face change
when that memory knocked.

Our shared hurt surfaced
and slowed our world.

Disbelief sat next to us
and tapped our shoulders.

Time tells Daddy's little girls
to watch him fade away again.

Grief adheres to our souls
and cycles back to visit.

We watched our kids play and laugh together all day. Then we started to remember Dad's last days. Our tears were as fresh as the day that his soul lifted up.

After ten years of a life without him, we still feel the sting of that sudden grief. Seeing her hurt ached my soul even more. Love mixed with grief will always be part of us now. We didn't even try to console each other. We looked at each other in silence. After a few moments, I shared a funny memory about Dad. It helped us to smile again and plan the next activity for the kids. That's what he wants us to do. Life is about joy. Gratefully, grief is not a regular visitor. In many ways, I'm thankful for this opportunity for me and my sister to share our grief together. It strengthens our bond as sisters and deepens our commitment to family. I am thankful for not being alone in that moment of grief. We were able to honor my father's memory together as we smiled about how his humor continues to bring life to our family.

Take a moment to hop over to Holistic Mama to read more Thankful Anyway Thursday posts.

22 comments:

Gerri said...

I've always been thankful for the not so good things in life as well as the good. You never know when that trial or tribulation will become the exact life lesson you need at a later date. I loved your poem. I too have lost my father and had similar experiences with my siblings. Thank goodness we had them in our lives to raise us and give us so many wonderful memories.

Mari said...

My Mom passed away 6 years ago and my sisters and I have noticed that often we are on the same cycles. Funny how it comes back and hits you when you least expect it.

Sneaky Momma said...

I'm glad you have your sister to grieve with.
Lately everything seems to remind me of my grandmother who passed away a few months ago. "Grief adheres to our souls
and cycles back to visit." Yeah, that sounds about right.

Dani said...

Wow! The post is beautifully written and tugs at the heartstrings! Thanks!

Kim said...

I know you miss your dad, you often mention him in your writing. It's so good sometimes to remember with someone else who feels the same love for him. I think he would have smiled down yesterday to see the two of you together missing him!

edenwild said...

Such a lovely but bittersweet poem! So glad you could share that moment with your sister. A couple months ago I wrote a post about my dad who had passed away 12 years ago: http://edenwild.wordpress.com/2009/05/14/dear-dad/ (If you want to have a look).

Thank you for sharing this.

H.K. said...

What a beautiful poem! I have never been close to my dad, but was close my father in law who I considered to be my father and he passed away 4 years ago.

It is comforting that you and your sister can share in your grief and great memories of your father. The love that you have your dad is a tribute to the kid of father he was to you.

shabby girl said...

What a great bonding moment. And I really enjoyed your poem!

My father and I were not close, but I'm always happy when I hear about families where it was normal and good.

Silver said...

This post reminds me of my own grief losing my mom- and having my sister to go through it together. For me it's been 8 years, we are able to think of her and laugh about her humor now although we still always wished she was still around with us in the physical.

~Silver
Reflections

~She Poet~ said...

A lovely, elegant poem. I can only imagine the pain and hurt one feels when they have lost someone close to them. I'm certain that it never goes away completely. I have yet to experience this type of loss but at least you have your sister to share memories with and know that you all are loved. Many blessings to you.

Joanne said...

What a poignant afternoon you spent with your sister. I think you're right, in that the grief does become a part of us, visiting at times, but also allowing us to smile through our tears at the wonderful memories it evokes.

The Write Girl said...

What a heartfelt post Septembermom. The loss of someone is full of sorrow but also the joy and happy memories of them come flooding back. I'm glad you can share your tears and laughter with your sister. I'm sure your father would be proud of your loving words. Sorry I have not visited lately but I will try whenever I can.

Caitlin said...

Lovely poem- thanks for sharing such intimate feelings with us.

T Rex Mom said...

Thanks, as always, for the lovely, thought provoking poem. I've really been missing my grandmother a lot recently. Strange how sometimes these feelings just hit.

Randi said...

This took me back eight years ago to the death of my mother. The title of your poem says it all for me--"Grief Still Visits." Like any other visitor, grief doesn't stay forever, but shows up unexpectedly, sometimes when you're not ready. I can go weeks sometime without thinking about her, and then boom! I'm wracked with grief because I start to call her and realize I can't. This poem spoke volumes in just a few short words, as evidenced by all the wonderful comments you've received.

Vickie said...

Oh my...thank you for sharing this poem. My own father passed away almost 19 years ago, but I still think about him everyday. Sometimes I will be with people and he will just pop into my head.

I still cry when I go to the cemetery.

It is a grief one never gets over...one has to find a way to live with the grief.

Momma Chae said...

That was beautiful....
I'm glad you were also blessed with a sister.

Valerie said...

Thank you for this post. My father died in 1961 and I still miss him.

Aleta said...

Post like this brings tears to me. This is a beautiful poem. I think I'll lose it if I lose my parents. I can't even bring myself to type "when" instead of "if" in that sentence. I love them too much.

Lori Lynn said...

That is lovely.
So sorry for your loss.
LL

Wendy said...

LOVED the poem....it really speaks a thousand words. Death is something that I havent really had to deal with up close and personal yet.... I have been fortunate. As my parents age, I can feel it approaching. I am so sorry for the loss of your father 10 years ago. I am sure that pain will never go away totally. Thank you for sharing.

Gerri said...

I miss my Nanny. I was having those grieving moments yesterday, but alone. You are blessed to have been able to share those thoughts and moments with your sister. Thanks for sharing such an intimate moment. peace